Who to Vote in the UK coming general election

this time its different. all three seems to make some sense, and it is confusing, but the minds of british are not made up, hence reflected in the polls , 38%conversatives lead, 30% labour , 22% lib dems

the parliment is requested by the prime minister gordon brown to be dissolved and the election held on 6th of may 2010 which ironically is the birthday of Tony Blair.

first of all let me ‘bitch’ about the manifesto pictures

above is the labours manifesto, but look at the picture, it looks like a nuclear explosion . does that imply that by destroying enemies with nuclear arsenal ..we can have a fairer future

if you think this is the picture of what a typical 5 year old draws, its not. this is the symbol of conversative. damn , they could have hired a better painter . dont you think. if you cant draw the picture of a tree , how can you lead a country , furthermore the trunk is blue , it is suppose to be BROWN

talking about brown , he cling onto the labour seat ALL through the mess of Global Financial Crisis that brought britians economy down to its knees….i think he did a good job. i really do….. but others dont think so. and not to mention he isnt as popular as he would like to be, and  not loved….sadly

since the collapse of icesave. gordon brown ask icelanders to pay back
and in reply …..

icelanders invent that t-shirt in defiance.and since then there are numerous hostile attempts to ‘de-throne’ him . and thanks a lot for the volcanic ash you bastards… first icesave bancruptcy then this volcano sh**

but brown sticks to his secret formula

thats how he mange to keep on going …..

despite having the look like he ‘just woke up from a long afternoon nap’ look

while the major opposition david cameron is leading the polls, …….

one problem with him is he look rather pompous, he look like what a ”posh” rich british would look like, he looks like he never wore a pair of jeans before and only play golf and anything expensive…. how can he appeal to others, people from liverpool (scousce) or to the northerners who are more laid back and have more in common with libdems and labour

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now of course , campaigning with your wife seems to be a brilliant idea , it appeals to the british that cherish partnership/marital values….

gordon with the very nice sarah brown (good idea)

david cameron and his very very lovely samantha ( good idea!)

NOW… lets see what the libdems have to offer…

nick clegg with the very lovely vince cable . hmrrph…
-well surely you all say i do purposely picked this picture out of many just to poke fun at him…. i deny that alllegation

this is the liberal democrats campaign bus , and look nick clegg with the very lovely vince cable. seee !   bad taste….. has nick locked his wife in the attic?

But the first step to being the next prime minister is admitting…..

yes , that is right, you have to be an asshole, whoever that will be in charge have to be an asshole. because you have to make cuts on public spending, raise taxes and reduce or cancel projects while favouring others…to plug the hole in the ”deficit”

now that the conservatives are leading the poll… they have tried hard not to lose

FAIL….. because ”i never voted tory before …..(followed by the message)” is self-defeating. … it is as if trying to imply that people dont vote for you and people are afraid to vote for you. bad idea

try something better , you should hire me as your political campaign advisor

OH YES. trust me this will  work. you either vote for conservatives or you are indirectly responsible for the murder of a innocient kitten!!! think about that. can you sleep at night….

as for me.  i myself if am able to vote, would not know who to vote too, i will agree with conservatives or labours immigration policy, and the business policies with conservatives, labours social welfare policy, liberal democrats policy of restructuring the political system and healthcare savings, perhaps conservatives education programme but covered more wholesome to labours intent, and conservatives idea of banking reform. In conclusion, it doesnt matter it probably will be for goood whichever party you vote for…….

because we are at least not North Korea under the rule of Kim Jong Il

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO ADMIT DEFEAT WHEN YOU LOSE….. THATS MOST IMPORTANT. i am wondering what Hillary Clinton did on the day Obama is inaugurated as the President of United states of America. ( few months ago back in october 09)

picture courtesy of : ryanericsongcanlas

yes she wasnt happy! even though she’s smiling in this photo

-i am not some sort of genius but i think…..
the bottle of beer is for herself, and the finga is for mr. Obama

trivia

the following is probably the worst day at work for a binman. (burnistoun)

mutated muppets rabbit cannibalism (while singing ‘stand by me’)

what is america’s former president doing ,now that he’s so freee, since retiring …..  well, he decide to make a action war movie starring himself..

and the game of hide and seek is a child’s game, the same with theives and police, chulup, zero point and stuff… but one man continues to play hide and seek way into his adulthoood and infact into his 50′s , he not only mastered the skill in hide and seek, he perfected it

osama bin laden ( world record holder for hide-and-seek)
since 2001-present

well, most people would want to hang him first thing  if they found him, as for me, i will shave his beard off   FIRST…. then hand him to the FBI or MI6.

they already plan his punishment

1.lifetime imprisonment

2. force him to eat bacon for breakfast . lunch and dinner will comprise of only  french fries and 1 vitamin tablet

3. force him to listen to 6 hours of rap music a day

4. make him draw the WTC towers daily

5.  share a cell with butch lesbian

malaysia exports educated talents abroad

i like the part(funny but SAD part) ….Ibrahim Ali” dont talk sh**, dont talk sh** la, i repeat,….arr three times ah, dont talk shit…..”  it makes minorities all weep. sigh.

i dont ask for abolishment of NEP, many of the  bumiputra’s (sons of soil) natives need aid, but i ask for them too looosen it up.. especially when it comes to education. denying a person to be educated and limiting their places for tertiary education is just not right, keep all the welfare and benefits,  the quota for University education need to be opened

not all could afford education abroad or with private education.,, and many of them have excellent grades. wasted talents.

no wonder , educated elites wont return, because they dont feel like they are wanted back malaysia , they feel that they are treated like ‘pest’ brought in during the british colonialism. unwelcomed.

i love faggots !

Dont get me wrong. i am not gay or anything. when i say i love faggots , i mean these faggots……………..

time for some english language history lesson. the term faggot is used widely to describe homosexuals especially gay  men.
- i think the origin stems from calling them faggot, because faggot is a pork ball meat steamed and bathed in gravy, unlike meatballs, faggots are soft ……..meatbals. hence some men started calling soft effeminate gay men faggot . this term is popularised in america, but i think they forgot where this term come from.  SEE ! this is an educational post. today you’ve learned something…… hahaaha.

while gays (aka faggots) love to put another man’s balls into their mouth . i too love to put salty balls into my mouth, but in my case i put salty faggot meatballs into my mouth instead of testicles. yuck! (no offence)

sorry to mislead some of the readers here with the ”tricky post title”. i apologize for those who are dissapointed when they discovered there is no picture of fags bending over another.  you’ve been punk’ ed!

PS : i am in no way, anti-gay or homophobic, just because i poke fun at them doesnt mean i am against them. i am a liberal . if you know me you will understand, i simply poke fun at everything, fat , anorexic, rich, poor , celebrities, politician…. i mean everything. literally. so if you are offended, i apologize in advance. hehehe

i dedicate this post to my all my gay friends, melinda, jeremy and his bf, elton john (not really my friend) and the late stephen gately (again not really my friend also) . please dont slap me !

OBAMA crashes through with healthcare reform

before i give my comments the monumental success of the health care reform. i would like to draw your attention to his name

barrack hussien obama

Barrack – reminds us of   Israel’s Former Prime minister and current defence minister Ehud Barak

Hussein – reminds us Saddam Hussein, the sole cause of the Gulf War (saddam invades kuwait and saudi) and his apparent bitchiness and intention disrupt peace in middle east as well as control of oil price at high cost since 1991

Obama – reminds us of the notorious son of a bitch terrorist mastermind osama bin laden

despite a ”triple” irony name he has ,he has been one of the best presidents of USA after Lincoln , JFK and Clinton

it still astonishes  me and made me hate the republicans even more when all of them vote in rejection of the Healthcare reform bill, Obama was trying to push.  It just shows Republicans are slaves for the corporation and their interest and they have forgotten what the people want .. and the reason they brought forth to argue is ” its too expensive ( when in fact it will reduce healthcare cost americans by 10 billlion over the time span of a decade) and taunts socialism of healthcare as bad (i think the NHS is terrific in UK) and other arguements that are designed deliberately to scare the american people. Phrases like ” government healthcare funded abortions”

Up to this day , USA stands as the only western nation who doesnt have some sort of universal coverage of healthcare for all its citizens regardless of social status.  (NAY means NO, YEA means YES)

The thought that the republicans voted in unison to reject a bill that will force the Healthcare insurance companies to ……

NOT able to drop insurance coverage for a patient , say you are diagnosed with cancer and need expensive treatment that will be 18 months of chemo and radiotherapy , and your insurance expires in june and is , normally you just can renew this and pay a insurance premium (just like insuring your car) but the company can drop you , and refuse to insure you , leaving you with nowhere to go and a massive healthcare bill to bear. WHICH benefits the insurance companies in profitability sense and lack responsibility in healthcare protection.

it will stop the insurance companies from refusing to accept people with preexisting health conditions , because these are the people who needs most healthcare insurance more than anybody else

and it will extend coverage to 30 million people who lower class citizens who cannot afford a healthcare insurance because of all the unreasonable barriers deliberately set by the insurers, from hefty premiums and high deductable ( partial covers of the medical bill)

these healthcare insurance companies only want to insure people that are healthy and rich , who needs and most unlikely to get illl compared to others that need it, profit have become the priority instead of welfare for the people. damn cold-blooded bastards.

Cost reduction in massive paperwork for filing claims , and backtracking trying to find excuses to dismiss the policy as being ‘breached’ by the customer. an example in the documentary SICKO by Moore is a lady is being rejected after the insurance investigates and find out she havent report that she have cystitis (minor condition -ask any doctor) 20years ago, and  use it as the reason to terminate her insurance policy , eventhough there is no link of ”that” be able to cause the current illness or even affect the initial insurance premium.

not to mention the countless advertisements on tv attacking OBAMA and the democrats for trying to reform healthcare by scaring them with notions of commmunism, unfairness, government messing with their health, and magnifying the suttle  weaknesss of national health service of  Canada and UK, which in my view is bias.

I’ve known a lady who works in the local supermarket in her late 50′s who got cancer and 2 years later returned to work . thanks to the NHS. if this happen’s in america, she will probably be dead,  have to sell her home and all her retirement savings to treat her cancer. … not to mention all the finantial strain and turmoil to the family. i think NHS rocks. sure we pay a lot of tax, but its worth it.  because if something happens to healthwise that i cant afford, i know i will have NHS to turn to. Its a beautiful system.

they spend 103 million daily to lobby and campaign against the passing of this bill….. BUT thank God Obama have won, the democrats have won.

after one century (100 years) of injustice in the healthcare system. and countless tries by politician to correct it only to be defeated including hillary clinton when his husband is at office.
Obama is truly a hero ……..

he deserve the salute for risking his political firm-seating  for a better healthcare for all americans -rich or poor
he kept his promises , and stood his ground

British Cadbury swallowed up by american food giant

Ali : Did you hear about the british’s cadbury is about to be swallowed up by the american food giant Kraft?!!

Abu: what american food giant? you mean that morbidly obese dude that needs firefighter department to haul him from his apartment with a crane cos he’s too heavy & stuck and cant go to the hospital . that guy?

wait, so that guy wants to eat a bar of cadbury’s chocolate. whats the deal

Ali : – ____-” B you’re so retarded. i meant did you hear about the news about the america’s giant food-making company named Kraft launching a hostile corporate takeover bid for British chocolate confectionary company Cadbury for £11.5bn pounds sterling.

Abu : Ohhhh, you mean that…
ehehe i thought you meant …. (scroll down to see abu’s mental image)

seriously this guy is so fat and heavy, he has his own gravitation force,whom he exerts towards any objects around him,so dont get pulled in by his own bloody gravity.
there is scientific evidence of this. I learned it in my physics class….

which also explains why the our planet earth and other solar system planets orbit around the VERY BIG SUN. so if a meteor strikes the earth , mark my words; i am going to BEAT UP these MEGA bas**** , WHY? because their personal gravitational pull , dragged in meteors from outer space; starting with the below three….. those f***ers.

alright, i am just kidding, please dont sit on me. i will die. but if you really want to teach me a lesson, chase me with a baseball bat, i am pretty sure i can run faster than you. hehehe

PS : this post is intended for humour only , i have no grudge or hatred for overweight individuals, so dont take it to heart (unlike your cholesterol), so be forgiving and take this blogpost with a pinch of salt, some chips and gravy, and a cake too. because i believe underneath it ALLLLLLLLLLL , you are still a nice person. so dont let jerks like me push you around because i can’t (physically and methaporically speaking) so eat your heart out, curse me as much as you want if it makes you feel better, but i know it wont , because i cake would probably work more effectively to lift your mood. so dont pick up the phone to complain, pick up a diet coke , because gee, you got to watch your calories.

BONUS : math tuition with stephen tong.

F= GMm/d

where F is Gravitational force energy( ‘pulling in’ force)

G is gravitational constant

M is the mass of morbidly fat people

m is the mass of meteors from outer space

divided by

d distance between M and m.

btw , i got A for my psychics

i am a fortune teller

i believe many of you perhaps have heard, of the fortune-telling skills of   me; the GRANDMASTER ‘ rhythm divine’

well , talk is cheap. actions is what matters.

i now will demonstrate to you my abilities…..

one of my most accurate fortune-telling skills, is i can tell…..

with a single glance      ….I can tell … whether you’re single or had a girlfriend before or not

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<– he is definitely single. i can tell, from the look on his face that he’s not married, and if he have a wife i am pretty sure that she’s blind

i also think he needs a haircut

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<– from one look, i can be pretty sure he never had a girlfriend before

if you don’t believe me . have a closer look

sorry guys. but the preparation for some exam really left me with no time to write quality post. hahaha